When we experience trauma our brains respond in a particular way to what has happened.


This can cause us to feel very upset and distressed or to feel ‘numb’ or ‘blank’.

It might mean that sometimes we remember things or have thoughts and feelings when we are least expecting them. Trauma can cause our brains to be overwhelmed. So we may not ‘process’ what we have experienced in the beginning, this might happen later on, even years after.

We are here to help you whenever you need it, whether this is in the days, weeks and months after someone has died or years later.


It’s really important to find someone you can trust and share your feelings with them. 

The support children and young people need is different for everyone, for some people it could be support from friends and family, looking on a website for ideas, a chat online, for some being with other people who are grieving can really help and some people feel better when they have been to Star Bereavement to meet with a bereavement practitioner.


How long will I grieve for?

There is no time limit for grief. We may feel very distressed all of the time in the beginning and as time passes we might not. But there will always be times when you return to your grief and need to visit it again. This is normal too. Grief changes and keeps changing over time, just as you change, grow and develop too. There is no right or wrong way and no rules.

character with shield

How can I cope with my feelings?

  • Reach out for support
  • Try to understand your feelings and know they are normal
  • Speak to a trusted adult or friend
  • Connect with other young people who are experiencing bereavement too- Star Bereavement are in Wakefield and can help with this
  • Work out what helps you ie more hugs or taking more time at school and don’t be afraid to ask the adults around you to help you with this
  • Share whenever you need to
  • Look after yourself really well! Focus on self care - what’s in your emotional first aid kit? You are very important
  • Eat well, get enough sleep and try to do things you enjoy or find relaxing- grieving can be hard work
  • Know you are not alone and people want to help
  • Know that what you have been through is very big and important, we could say its ‘life changing’.
  • Sometimes when other people in your family, your home or friendship group are grieving too it can be really difficult to know what to say, what feelings to show and whether you will upset other people. Remember that your family and friends may not be sure how to help and this can be a confusing time for everyone.

Take a look at our self-help section for more support